The sixth letter to Chinese students - the wisdom of choice

 The sixth letter to the Chinese students choose wisdom
mm is a string of difficult choices in life, is a continuous selection process. As we journey through life, leaving behind the past is our selection. If you choose to well, we will feel happy and successful, we feel the world, for others to produce a positive effect.
when I encounter important choices in life, I always believed in doing things the following three principles:
courage to change things can change, there can not be changed mind to accept things, the wisdom to know the difference.
Over the years, these words have given me immeasurable support and encouragement to help me through pass countless lives. share with the China Youth After three sentences, had a classmate for these three words, write asked me:
strong resonance.
purpose.
br> that requires us to use their wisdom, take the initiative to find and select the most complete and balanced state, and through the success of this choice. Here the word wisdom, but fundamentally, it is conceived in the selection and the selection of sublimation of the highest wisdom mm I call it the wisdom of young students need to select well-known management expert Peter b
Drucker (Peter Drucker) said that the twenty-first century is the century of a choice, because if future historians look back now, they will remember Today is not the most technical aspects of the reform or innovation in networking, but mm humans will have the right to choose. He said that this sentence is because in today's information society, everyone can access information, knowledge, relies on brain power progress, and more and more enterprises will be more delegation of authority to the staff, attention to positive selection of employees. everyone has the opportunity, then look at each person's success is even more active in fighting for and the wisdom to choose.
This is an exciting time, in such an environment, each person faces a choice, have the right to choose. especially in China, the choice of time is more valuable. Review of China's past hundred years of history can be said that today's young students in China the first time in a century opportunity to enjoy advanced education, but also do not have to worry about life, security, and food and clothing, their first all over the world via the Internet to obtain information, the first time in school After so many have, you can choose jobs.
However, although the honor of China's young students born in the era of the freedom to choose, but time did not pass on the wisdom of their choice.
and students in the previous writing letters and founder of For example, students often ask me about how to choose the question: ; I would like to change the status quo, but not, and I should have the courage to overcome obstacles, or relax the mind to recognize the reality? ; . Faced with these problems, my answer is:
I can help you do not choose their own problems because you only know what is best, and only their own future are most concerned about.
I can do is teach the wisdom of your choice to help you listen to their mind, the most realistic sound to help you make wise choices.
in this letter, the wisdom of my choice a total of eight successful:
. with Mean refused to extreme
. by reason of scenarios
. play with the practical impact of
. with a cool control of choice
. with self correct their attitude
. by learning to accumulate experience
. with the courage to give up burden
. with a heart to follow the wisdom
(1) refuse to use the doctrine of extreme
do not understand the doctrine of the real meaning, the misconception that the doctrine is powerless to do the honest people. In fact, the doctrine tells us that the most important thing is to avoid and reject the extreme and one-sided.
example, in my fifth raised in the letter of the most important initiative, if done to extreme, it becomes overbearing, like others insufferably arrogant, domineering rampant. In my second letter to getting along with others raised in the most important empathy, if you do to the extreme, it becomes a blind obedience, have lost their choice, what did not assertive. extreme self-confidence to become arrogant and extreme courage to become a foolhardy extreme mind is weak, it will become extremely self-reflection into low self-esteem.
confidence, self-reflection, courage, mind, positive, empathetic attitude are successful six essential elements of success are also need to have the advantage. But once an attitude of which the development will to the extreme, the advantages will immediately turn into disadvantages. The following chart shows is that the attitude of the six winners to be, and the consequences of their development to the extreme:
as shown above, inner ring represent a complete and balanced state , the outer ring on behalf of the extreme behavior of one-sided. The first is the essence of wisdom: we must use the doctrine to guide their thinking, their attitude to limit the complete and balanced within the context of both self-confidence and self-examination, courage and mind, positive and empathy and other factors, time in which to prevent their own have too radical of a performance.
I have seen a negative extreme example: there was a staff of managers recommended to read the biography of Napoleon of a short story. that story to the effect that a child of Napoleon and the students often fight, but always lost to the other party. He was determined, even if they are killed also admit defeat, and using unconventional and extreme. In this story of Napoleon, I see not a brave hero, but an arrogant, stubborn, overconfident guy. Although I am not a historian, but I am very clear that The case is absolutely not worth learning.
In addition, I have personally experienced an extreme test: in the training course, a circle, vice president for ten and a half hours you can speak freely, but only the things the company can not say . So, everyone started talking about the weather, politics, sports hh also appeared during a dispute. in a warm conversation, the time passed imperceptibly. one and a half hour later, each vice president have in mind by its own vice president on the other the degree of respect, an order for them to row, and placed himself in the right place. sort, we found that the first is the last person did not speak from start to finish, last second, then most people. people who do not speak may have ideas, but did not express them, then people will think that he had no opinion. On the contrary, if too many people may have some interesting words, but many should not talk about it, which makes him unable to get everyone praise.
So, silence is gold and outspoken are not desirable, then how do we achieve first job, the company has a manager named Sean, we all know he is a very talented, especially in a meeting, he perfectly decent words to show his extraordinary talent and learning, emotional and eloquent enough to allow the presence of all admiration. One day, I summon the courage to ask for advice on effective communication Sean whereabouts secret. Sean said: I do not know or not sure, my mouth tightly closed; but when I have good advice, I will not miss the opportunity to mm if not let me speak, I will not let the meeting end. him: issued a special sound (such as throat clearing sound), or host with eyes asked me to speak. However, if other people do to occupy all the opportunity to speak, I'll wait spokesman for the adjustment of breathing and quickly connected to the thread of her conversation. I asked him: will be the opportunity to skilfully answered him l to r; If not, I would say that l do not know, but I will go check r, and so will open after, I'll definitely check out the problem. remarks I have learned a lot mm long as a good grasp of the degree to speak, choose a good time to talk, you can get the respect of people around, and that others will learn from your discourse you are a profound and humble person.
talked about so many examples, in fact, want to tell you, whether in life or at work, we should endeavor to avoid extremes, to maintain a balanced state, and take the road of moderation.
(2) a rational analysis of scenarios < br> doctrine emphasized not only keep honest middle, also requires us to Zeshanercong.
in the face of choice, we will start with the first go to extremes to avoid the trap of wisdom, and wisdom with the second complex, multi- changing environment, prudent and calm to choose the best solution. with the previous map view, the first intelligence allows us to avoid the outside of the circle, the second inner wisdom is telling us there is no definite answer, The situation should make the best use of rational choice under. It is in fact a combination of the true meaning of moderation. So do not take the absolute doctrine of the , are in line with moderation and wisdom of these two. From another perspective, we should not think that attitude is related to the success of the six opposition between one or the other, neither one-sided emphasis on a certain kind of attitude, not one-sided emphasis on the two kinds of attitude between the : to accept the challenge, then, the boss has not made a final decision, do not be afraid to challenge; but we must take into account, if it is to speak in public, in their own words, there must be a certain degree of skill, should concerns to the boss's face. Once the boss made a decision, we both have different opinions, all must support and implement, where there do not agree with the boss can only communicate in private. complex situation and from a different candidate in the Zeshanercong method, in order to find the best way to challenge. this case the selection process can also use a computer flow chart visually represented:
another On the one hand, we can see the art of leadership also needs Zeshanercong. Many people mistakenly think that good leaders have the same style, for example: Command command, macro-control, harmony, and for, democracy, freedom, authority responsible for mentoring and training.
In fact, the famous management books in the leadership seems contradictory, and there will be a result of the specific situation intelligently use the right kind of different. This Friedman's analysis, a good leader always have these six leadership, and will analyze the current situation rationally to determine what kind of use them. For example, assume that the poor performance of staff or staff new to the company in case of major crisis, staff should use the command, the command means; if companies need to change direction, or employee morale because they do not understand the direction is not high, and you are a trustworthy leader, you should use the macro control methods; If you find handy to have employees, sectoral coordination is no problem, it should focus on the harmonious cooperation; When you find knowledgeable employees, or when you are uncertain of results, you should choose the way of democracy and freedom; If the employee capacity is high and is an expert, or have a positive self-attitude, authority responsible manner should be used; If the staff is very dynamic, willing to do a good job, but lack of experience, while business and not in times of crisis, it should be possible mentoring and training. the best leader is to have these six seemingly contradictory leadership, and with the wisdom of right choices according to different scenarios of people.
most choice in life is not wrong, black or white, non- This Jibi thing. We have to learn in the most appropriate time for the most appropriate person with the most appropriate method, to learn to make decisions in a rational overall pros and cons of various factors to measure their abilities and inclinations. these things and can not rely on a simple formula to determine. Readers should by virtue of their wisdom, choose the most suitable for their own success.
(3) with a pragmatic choice to influence the integrity and balanced
, you must first figure out you face things that you can affect, or you can not afford to change. Stephen b Covey in his book concerned about the circle direct impact on the question: For this problem, the solution lies in the implementation of the correct attitude. This is our mission possible, and it is the core of the exert their influence to improve the methods to be addressed, such as the use of interpersonal relationships, teamwork and communication skills to resolve. This is the most worthy of our efforts to fight the attitude and mind to accept them. even though there are more dissatisfied, but also calmly, so as not to conquer our problems.
encounter any problems either, if you think that the crux, , you just break it open patiently to see which part is you can influence and what part is you can focus but can not be affected. and then, to strive for those who can can become a No matter the question is which of the three, the first step to solve the problem should start from their own sphere of influence: the first of their own, and then influence others, and finally be possible to affect the environment.
this method as ; have the courage to change things can change, there can not be changed mind to accept things, the wisdom to know the difference, said: , said something in the air behind the words. One time, he had the mandate of the use of Student Union in front of me leading a lot of fabricated charges. because of his good relations and leadership, leaders failed to investigate the case to dispose of the implementation of the me, my qualifications party activists also canceled. I am particularly angry, why not investigate the leadership to deal with my survey? I really do not make mistakes. it really be that right? The answer is: not change. I advise you to think more, what things you can influence and change. For example, you have not thought about, if you have not had speaking ill of him behind, is not all this be avoided? I not to say that other people are doing right, but you can only amend their own, not fix others. You must know how to fix their own problems to be able to avoid this happening again. If time could go back, you will do better some? you will control your emotions, or will it get rid of bad things about the wrong person behind that? l Have you heard how I treat others, they treat me r this sentence? If you do not criticize others behind, is likely that others will not motivate you. There is a saying: l Although we can not change the wind, but we can adjust the sails. r I hope you can live and work in a clear understanding of where their sails. people setback will learn far more than what a successful school to. I hope you post after this time, unfortunately, can become a more mature, more successful people. because they are involved in legal disputes, and learned to and even there are many children and some black false accusation and malicious spread the story of the Chinese invented the Internet. At that time, thanks to my lawyer friend reminded me: the media reports, we are powerless, because in the lawsuit whirlpool I personally can not come forward to explain, otherwise not only added insult to injury, and may provide additional materials to each other. The judge's decision is that I can be indirectly affected, and we must strive to fight a good fight. As for the side effects can be directly extensive search of evidence that I can look for witnesses, to understand the law, ready to confront the evidence confirmed that the other side lies. Thus, in two months time, I no longer subscribe to the newspaper, not on the news sites, which are no longer rumors confusion. I spent sixteen hours a day, study hard law, in each other's nearly 30 million documents using the latest search tools to find the files we need, and our lawyers with the drafting of pleadings, court time and again to make rehearsal . September court, we really win, the judge allowed the work I started Google. In our celebration party, a lawyer said in a toast to me I do not like the defendant, but more like a professional lawyer, I even estimated the value of the equivalent of two lawyers. in retrospect, he asked why I calmly buried a day to see the file, do the media coverage of the outside wind and rain do not care? I told him: I do not want to waste time on things that I can do nothing. mm because of positive reports turned into facts speak for themselves, I began to overcome the fact that the work of any one negative article. We can see from this example: focus on the things you can change and may last even when the change can not change things the.
(4) control with cool
life is a choice of choosing the game continued, with wind and rain but also the sun. This is the most important, we use the calm control of the whole process of each choice:
the choice before the you probably closely related to their own future, but you choices and judgments, we must avoid preconceived mind-set, to avoid the impact of their tendency to judge the precision of subjective and objective.
So, what to do out of our objective , the precise choice? I offer three suggestions to you:
First, the list of factors affect your choice as a benefits and drawbacks, and then through an objective analysis of the table, interests and defects which are most important to you? These factors are consistent with your values and ideals? When you put in front of such an objective and detailed time table the pros and cons subjective factors not easily affect your sense of the.
example, in 1998, I have two paths to choose from before: back to China to establish Research Institute, companies in the United States to do business. When I asked a lot of friends , there is no willingness to return to China with me together, each of them say: impact, not calm and objective people, was probably decided not to go back to China. In order to more objectively determine which path best suits my values and ideals, I have listed the pros and cons of a table:
back to China to work < br> In the United States
pros and cons pros and cons of entrepreneurship opportunities for young people in China is not optimistic about China

friends have their own company
I did not lower position, salary
do not have to hear the pressure directed
venture capital research environment

best
trouble moving the big money may be a risk of failure

There is no long-term commitment to China's experience between the company

do not have to work long hours to move

pros and cons of using such a table, I quickly made a wise decision mm objective and return to China work. because, after considering all pros and cons, back to China to work the best to play my own expertise, and most in line with my personal values and ideals.
Second, learn to look at the issue of probability theory methods.
In most cases, we did not need to believe that the success probability of a choice must be 100% or 0. On the contrary, we should learn to analyze the thing ;. The probability of occurrence of small things to do before the failure must be prepared. On the other hand, do not wait until it reaches 100% probability of success only to do, because even if a cause of this kind of thing, and no nothing to be proud of.
do probability analysis, can list the Institute to establish a world-class research institutions to mm this is the best possible. use this method take into account the two extremes, I soon realize that even the worst, I can readily accept and companies. Therefore, I choose to return to work in China has become a matter of course.
course, many choices and not so good When the courage to challenge themselves. Former U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell speaking will fail, but the cost of delay or waiting is often greater. Experienced people can use their many years of accumulation for us the way, the highly intelligent people who can inspire us with their idea of intelligence, those who know how to describe a person can use their emotional intelligence to help us communicate effectively when hh
When you ask the views of others, can carry the above-mentioned Of course, you also must understand that the final decision on your own, even if you accepted the views of others, you can not pass the buck to others on this.
so-called After making a choice, it should be comfortable with any results that may occur, both because the decision not to correct and ecstatic, and do not regret because it mistakes for life choices.
For example, some people because of their lack of confidence in each just make a decision to immediately tense up, do not know what their choice will lead to results; some people really like sensitive, had made their own objective and fair decision, but after hearing others talk to swing up and hh
In fact, whatever your choice is correct or not, regardless of its outcome, the decision has been made can not be recovered, you only readily accept it, or in the future to find ways to remedy the situation. for what has happened, or things they have no control, any concern or remorse are superfluous. Rather than spend time on unnecessary anxiety better to put these things,UGGs, get under the knife, always find some trumped-up charges laid off a number of competent staff, so the team changed to S is called a subordinate's actions after receiving the J to me that he can use the evidence that he did not do anything wrong. So, I appeal to the J to help the owner of S, where under the ironclad proof, S got a new work.
under D, but another completely different situation, his situation is very difficult, because the J D of the computer where the buried in the perjury, and then fired him on grounds of bribery. I have repeatedly communicate with the D, I believe he was innocent. But the evidence, I am unable to avenge. In particular, I had just joined the company soon, but not enough authority and credibility to interfere in other departments do. After ; heavy D for the same treatment and upset? l r the only lay down the matter lightly, more like useless. I should have to focus on my work, so, maybe one day I can have enough authority and credibility to help other people. br> reassuring is that, many years later, J dismissed by the company, S and D are all in the new position has made remarkable achievements.
(5) with the correct attitude of self
Chinese saying goes, one of your former self. This is actually said in the social life that everyone should own quality, potential, strengths, flaws, experience and other basic ability to have a clear understanding of their working life in the community may role of a clear positioning. psychological ability to self-knowledge that has called the I believe their value and ability areas.
a conscious one can make for themselves the most intelligent choice, choose to do jobs that they can choose to do the work can be so rewarding. To make a conscious person, neither will their ability to judge is too high, it will not easily underestimate their potential. on their own are often easy to judge too impetuous, rash, are unable to cooperate with others, suffered a setback in their careers Psychological larger gap, it is difficult to treat calm and objective facts; people underestimate their own potential, it will work timid, hesitant, do not shoulder the burden of responsibility and courage, nor volunteered initiative. no matter which of the above case, the individual's potential can not be given full play, your career can not be the greatest success.
I had a subordinate, a ability, but since a very high, always dissatisfied with their current jobs, but also likes to boast anywhere. In his self-evaluation is written: The most remarkable ever. his talent, he can not be reused, he decided to find another job in other departments. but he eventually found himself not only can not find a better job, the company's colleagues think his lack of self-knowledge. Finally, he left in frustration the company. take his position who is a capable, and very humble person. Although this person work in a post on the not very successful, but he knew it was because he promoted too fast, not good enough preparation, so he is willing to do the job from the lower level, in order to lay a solid foundation. he was really doing a good job.
a conscious setbacks at work, when the failure will not give in when the results will not be made complacent. self-understanding, the ability of accurate positioning of self-worth can not only help individuals find their own space and the right direction, but also can help companies set up their duties, the excellent team work. There conscious choice to let others who are more willing to trust.
conscious for the management of modern enterprises is also very important. in the company, managers in measuring an employee's job performance, if found that the employees do well, will immediately ask the question: Any further hesitation, he can be transferred directly to the work; the contrary, if the answer is yes, managers often give employees a chance and let him prove himself.
Kai-fu students in online, who came Students from China University of Technology, that How many people can really know ourselves? more than a year, because I do in the school organization of a society can be exposed to many different types of ...